


Just Another Day

by buffyfemslasharchive (slambat)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/F, Post-Episode: s07e22 Chosen, Post-Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:27:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27287152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slambat/pseuds/buffyfemslasharchive
Summary: Post-Chosen, Willow, Buffy, Kennedy, and Dawn are all living together. Willow has something going on with Buffy, but she isn't sure how seriously she should be taking it.
Relationships: Kennedy/Willow Rosenberg, Willow Rosenberg/Buffy Summers
Kudos: 11





	1. Just Another (Christmas) Day

**Author's Note:**

> This is an archived fanfiction, originally by Jin Hayte. It was originally published in 2005 on The Mystic Muse and Angels Fall First.
> 
> Original author's notes: " 1) Takes place around six months after 'Chosen'. 2) This was inspired by the sitcom 'Scrubs'. If you're familiar with it, you'll definitely recognize the narrating in this story (it actually helps with the overall flow if you've seen the show)."
> 
> Link to original: http://mysticmuse.net/authors/jinhayte/justanotherchristmasday.htm

It started like any other day.

At around 8AM, I was woken up from my dream by my girlfriend, hugging me close to her from behind and kissing my neck.

"Mmmmorning," I moaned, blinking my eyes open.

As soon as she knew I was awake, she rolled me over, placing herself on top of me and looking down at me with a smile. Her long brown hair hung from her head, the ends tickling my cheeks.

"Morning, gorgeous," she whispered.

I knew what she wanted, even if I hadn't seen her sultry smile or the way her brown eyes sparkled.

I knew, because every morning was the same.

She leaned down and gave me a kiss, and what followed was hard intense morning sex. No foreplay, no sensitivity, no mushy stuff. Just a good wholesome fuck.

Oh, get that shocked look off your face. Yeah, so I use the f-word. Who doesn't? I mean, I didn't use to. I couldn't even think it. But those years are long gone, I've grown up. I don't use it that much, mind you. I'm not Faith. But sometimes, yeah.

Now, go ahead and close your mouth.

Thank you.

Fifteen minutes later, I stumbled to the bathroom while Kennedy went downstairs. She doesn't shower after sex. I commented on it once, because it is kinda icky, but she just laughed and said she liked to have my smell on her all day.

Me, I need the shower.

After I was all cleaned up and warm, I got dressed and went downstairs to join our family for breakfast.

Dawn and Kennedy were arguing about something, as usual, cereal and milk flying out of their mouths as they yelled at each other.

It wasn't pretty.

Buffy was ignoring them, standing by the sink and staring out the window, arms crossed.

"Morning, Dawn," I said as I made my way past the table. Walking by Buffy, I put my arm on her shoulder. "Morning."

She turned her head and gave me a smile. "Morning," she replied and went back to her staring session.

"See something interesting?" I asked as I opened the upper cupboard and reached for a bowl.

"Mailguy hasn't been by yet. I'm gonna catch him this time, get some answers."

The mailman is always a few hours late. Doesn't bother me much, since I get up fairly late, but Buffy, who never sleeps it seems, is always complaining about it. She needs her morning paper.

Oh, and yeah, we still live with Buffy and Dawn. Though, in another house, of course, since the old one is at the bottom of a huge crater.

Why do we live with them and not in a place of our own? I'll get to that.

After having my breakfast I put on my coat, my mittens and my scarf, kissed my girlfriend on the cheek and went out in the blistering gold.

I still haven't gotten used to it.

Granted, this is my first winter in Cleveland, where it actually snows.

Lots.

I should've had some time to adjust, since the temperature has been steadily dropping since we moved here. But I haven't been able to. I still get a shock when my California-bred cheeks are forced into temperatures below 0° Celsius.

I didn't want to go outside. I hate the cold. I'm a sun person. But with only a few days until Christmas and Christmas shopping still needing to be done, I didn't have much of a choice. And yes, I buy Christmas presents and I celebrate Christmas, despite the fact that I'm Jewish. Or, technically, I'm a Wicca now. I'm a Jew slash Wicca. A Jewicca. A Jewicca who celebrates Christmas. Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. Want me to stop saying it?

Anyway, with a girlfriend and a group of friends who all celebrate it, what can I do?

Besides, it's fun to shop, just calmly looking around the stores, searching for the perfect gifts, soaking in the atmosphere.

If only it wasn't so friggin cold.

Two hours later, I returned home with no presents, red cheeks, an icy nose and clattering teeth.

"I'm home!" I called out as I hung my coat on the hanger and placed my mittens and scarf in a drawer.

Walking through the house, rubbing my hands together to create some friction and thereby warm them up a little, I got no answers to my hellos.

I went down to the basement and saw Buffy, currently busy stuffing the washer with dirty laundry.

"Hey, Will," she greeted without even turning her head.

It's kinda eerie when she does that.

"Hey," I said, sitting down on the bottom step.

"Find anything?" she asked, closing the lid and setting the timer. She turned around and leaned back against the washer machine.

"Nope," I huffed. "Couldn't find anything good enough."

"Who've you got left?"

"Well...you." I said, smiling.

"Me? Am I that hard to shop for?" she asked, pushing off from the washer and coming in my direction.

"Yes!" I exclaimed, rubbing my still cold hands together.

"You cold? Didn't you have mittens on you?"

"As if they'd help," I scoffed. "And yes, I am."

She sat down in front of me and looked up at the ceiling.

"Is Kennedy or Dawn home?" she asked.

"Nope."

She looked into my eyes and smiled.

"Want me to warm those for you?"

I just nodded.

She took my hands in hers, giving each finger tip a kiss. Linking our fingers together, she leaned forward and gave me a kiss, one which I willingly met.

Standing up, she pulled me up with her and embraced me, kissing me with increasing passion, thrusting her tongue into my mouth. Pushing me against the stair railing, she lifted my left arm so that it was above my head. Holding it there, she released her grip of my right hand and cupped one of my breasts, making me moan into her mouth.

Her hand went south until it found the end of my shirt, then she trailed her fingers over my stomach, up to my breast where she cupped it again, pinching my nipple through the lace bra.

Breaking off the kiss, she licked my neck and sucked my earlobe into her mouth.

"Know what we haven't done in a while?" she whispered, giving my nipple another pinch.

"What?" I squeaked.

She looked over at the vibrating washer and then back at me, a seductive smile on her lips.

"Let's do it," I said and gave her a kiss.

The short trip from the stairs to the washing machine took a surprisingly long time due to kissing, fondling and ripping of clothes, but we finally made it there.

She lifted me up with ease and sat me down on the edge of the humming machine, spreading my legs with her fingers gently pushing them.

I watched with dazed eyes as my blonde princess sat down on her knees and pulled my baby-blue panties off using only her teeth. Putting the garment to the side, she proceeded to rock my world.

The washing machine did its part too.

Some time after – I don't know how long because I lost track of time for obvious reasons – we were lying on the bed Buffy keeps in the basement "in case someone comes to visit", our naked bodies wrapped around each other, enjoying the afterglow.

"A new pair of headphones," Buffy said suddenly, breaking the silence.

"What?" I asked, frowning.

"For Christmas," she explained. "That's what I want. The ones that came with the iPod are useless."

I snorted.

"Ok, first off: that iPod is Dawn's, not yours," I said, looking at her pointedly. "And second: that's such a boring gift. I want to give you something personal and something that would truly make you happy."

She looked into my eyes, and for a second her smile faltered. Before I had time to worry about that, though, she hugged me closer and gave me a kiss.

"Well, why don't you buy a teddy for yourself, or something. Something sexy."

Again with the sultry smile.

"I could enjoy that all of eight seconds before I'd have to rip it to shreds to get to the creamy filling," she said in her best seduction voice, then started to giggle.

I do so love the way her giggle. It makes me giggle, and it feels good to giggle.

I didn't want to giggle, though. Not at that moment, at least. So I tilted my head and gave her a kiss, rolling on top of her and pushing my body against hers.

Just when I was starting to get lost in the feeling of Buffy's breasts getting mushed against mine, the basement door opened.

Dawn came in, walked down a few steps, met our collective frightened expression and shrieked.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking: "Oh great, another one of those clichéd moments where someone walks in on the lovers in the middle of the act, stirring things up in their life, which inevitably leads to angst complete with tears, confessions of love and ultimately heartbreak, only to take a sudden turn at the end for a happy ending." Who hasn't seen, read or heard that a thousand times?

That's not what happened, though.

"Oh, hey guys," Dawn said and quickly turned around, focusing on the closed door. "Just wanted to tell you that Kennedy's coming home soon, she said she had to "shop for a Dawn gift" and then she'd come straight here."

"Ok, thanks," I called as she hurried up the stairs and out the door.

Yeah, Dawn knows about me and Buffy. The walk in happened some time ago, back when we had just started doing...this. She didn't seem too upset. The one who was the most upset was Buffy. Took me a week of convincing and tempting and seducting to get her naked again.

I smiled down at Buffy. "Guess we should get dressed."

Getting a nod in response, I leaned down and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. Or, at least, that's what I intended it to be. Her strong Slayer arms embraced me, pulled me down closer and the kiss increased in fervour, her tongue caressing mine, once again making me drift into this wonderfully fluffy place in heaven I like to call 'Willow's Fluffy Place In Heaven'.

She rolled me over, broke off the kiss and gave me a peck on the forehead. She then stood up and picked up her clothes, leaving me gasping on the couch, watching her get dressed.

Hey, she started it. She should get to finish it as well.

The rest of the day passed without further excitement. We dressed the tree, sprayed fake snow on the windows, made some candy and just generally enjoyed the Christmas atmosphere. Xander came by, complained about the fact that we went ahead and dressed the tree without him. Of course, he forgot all about it when he got to taste the fruit of our combined labour: burnt candy.

I mean, between the four of us, there's really no one who can handle herself in the kitchen: Buffy rarely if ever succeeds in not burning everything, Dawn always insists on experimenting with weird ingredients, I never get anything right even if I do follow the receipt point by point, and Kennedy has, I suspect, never cooked once in her entire life.

So the candy was a complete disaster.

Didn't stop Xander from eating most of it, though.

The hours went by, we had some take out dinner, Kennedy and Dawn got into an argument, Xander excused himself, said he had to get back to work. More to avoid having to do the dishes, I suspect, than because he actually had to work.

So Buffy and I ended up in the kitchen, her washing and me drying.

After a bathroom pause, I came back into the kitchen after having checked on Kennedy and Dawn, making sure they were busy watching TV. I stepped up behind Buffy and wrapped my hands around her, hugging her close and breathing in the scent of her hair.

She dropped the glass she was washing into the sink and leaned back into me, sighing contentedly.

Everything was as it should be.

Everything was perfect.

And then it happened.

"I love you."

Three simple words, barely whispered. Three small words, with oh so much meaning behind them.

She'd said them to me before in the past, you know, back when we were just friends and didn't sex each other up on a regular basis.

Back when all they were was an innocent proclamation of platonic love.

I knew it was different now.

She knew it.

We both knew it!

So why did she have to go and screw things up by telling me she loved me? Things were good! I was in a loving relationship with two people, Buffy was happy since she'd told me, again and again, that she didn't want to be in an open relationship, Christmas was upon us and we were having everyone over for dinner in a few days. Last thing we needed was this kind of drama.

So, taking a deep breath, I reacted the only way I felt was right: I hugged her closer, kissed her on her temple and said nothing.

Later that night, me and Kennedy were lying in our bed, her sprawled out on top of me using my chest as a pillow. Me, I was staring up at the wooden panel ceiling and the spots of light that came from the Christmas star light hanging in the window, which turned slowly back and forth due to the heat waves emitted from the radiator, which was on because...

As I was saying, I was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling.

And then I realized something:

I didn't love Kennedy.

The End


	2. Just Another (New Year's) Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second part of the series, also originally published in 2005.
> 
> Link to original: http://mysticmuse.net/authors/jinhayte/justanothernewyearsday.htm

Christmas time can be hectic. Take the presents, for example: You have to find the presents, buy the presents, wrap the presents, hide the presents and then open them.

And you have to decorate the tree – which you have to find first, be it in one of those Christmas tree shop places or in the actual woods – as well as every inch of the house, inside and out. You have to make eggnog and candy, cook – and I use the term loosely – Christmas dinner and constantly make sure you're not forgetting anything.

And even though everyone does all that with jolly cheers and smiles, it can still be as stressful as realizing you've forgotten to send in an assignment in time.

Ugh, the horror.

But come Christmas Eve, everyone seems to calm down and that stress is replaced with a feeling of peace. Unless, of course, your mind has been wracked with a life changing revelation and is working overtime trying to come up with a solution to a problematic...problem.

It's been over a week since that kind of revelation came to me.

You know how the saying goes: You never know what you have until you realize what you could have. Or you don't know what you're missing until you find out what you have. Or...

Something along those lines.

Anyway, it hit me like a vampire slap in the face. And I know what they feel like; I've gotten my fair share of undead beatings over the years.

It's odd, though, that you can't see these things until another window opens.

That window was Buffy telling me she loves me.

Not what I wanted to hear, because I was at peace with my life. I thought. Turns out, I really was missing something.

Every fibre of my being whispered – no, screamed – it at me as I was lying in bed with my girlfriend snuggled up on top of me.

Love.

That's what was missing.

Even though I'm certainly happy with Kennedy, I don't love her.

Needless to say, I was unable to fully enjoy Christmas. It came and went with me pretty much going through the motions. Xander came over, of course, as did Giles – freshly imported from Europe.

With Giles' help, we were able to throw together a decent Christmas dinner instead of ruining it and ending up ordering take-out. We ate food, drank eggnog and opened our presents. Run of the mill Christmasy stuff. Low keyed, but nice.

Or, it would've been, if I wasn't so busy avoiding both Buffy and Kennedy while the gears in my head turned, trying to find a solution to my problem. On the quite frequent occasion that either of them caught me, I had to act like everything was fine. A tender touch here, a stolen kiss there. A fondling session here, a whisper of lovely endearments there. That's what I had to endure, and all the mistletoe hanging around didn't make it any easier!

Poor me, right?

But I think I managed to put up a good show, since neither of my lovely tormenters seemed to notice anything. Acting like everything was fine looked like it was working, so I decided to keep it up.

Faith rolled into town a few days later, and she was actually welcomed. Though Dawn still had her issues with her, Buffy didn't seem to mind, and Kennedy was ecstatic. While Buffy's cut back on the patrolling, partly because she, just like me, isn't too fond of the cold, Kennedy's keeping it up. So Faith, being the way she is, coming to visit gave Kennedy a slay-partner. They went out every night, and they spent the days having fun in the city.

And since Dawn went over to some friends almost every day and Giles hated sitting around doing nothing, I was left alone with Buffy.

Now, I expected her to keep her distance, because hey! She told me she loved me and I didn't say it back! That if anything would make her withdraw.

Her behaviour during Christmas should've tipped me off.

To my endless happy dismay, she was acting like she always did, finding any reason to touch, hug and/or kiss me.

But she was slowly driving me crazy with guilt, because even though every time I laid eyes on her I wanted nothing else than to tell her I loved her, I just couldn't. Doing that would inevitably force me to break up with Kennedy, and I couldn't do that either. Especially at this time of year!

So even though it pained me, I stayed true to my decision. It's not like I've never bottled things up before.

And it was going great! Until yesterday, that is.

I was lying in bed having just recovered from a Buffy-induced orgasm. The girl in question crawled up from between my legs, gave me a kiss and snuggled closer to me, her head resting on my shoulder.

"Love you," she whispered.

I imagine I looked pretty silly as I was lying there, in what would appear to be perfect bliss, and my reaction was to start crying.

My chest shaking, Buffy pushed up, looking at me with a frown.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," I responded between sniffles and rolled to the side, trying to hide the tears that were running down my cheeks.

"Will, come on. Tell me what's wrong," she said, her voice serious.

When I didn't respond, she put a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it gently.

"You can tell me anything. I love you."

That did it.

"It's that, ok?" I whimpered, burrowing my face in a ball of sheets.

"What?" she asked, oblivious.

"The 'I love you'!" I cried, sitting up, not bothering to cover my naked self. "I love it when you say it, I do! But every time you do say it a little part inside of me dies because all I wanna do is say it back but I can't because that would mean that I love you too and I can't be together with Kennedy anymore and I'd have to break up with her and I can't do that! And when I can't say it back I feel so guilty because you obviously want to hear it back and I don't wanna hurt you. And I've tried so hard..."

My voice cracked as a sob ran through my body. I looked down at my lap and took a shaking breath.

"I've tried so hard," I continued in a lower tone of voice, "to keep it in, to ignore it, to tell myself that it'll be alright if I just let it be. But I can't! I thought I was strong enough, but I'm not, and I don't know what to do! I don't, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"

I covered my face with my hands, trying to hide away. I felt so weak, and I hated it. That wasn't me anymore. I wasn't weak.

"God, look at me," I mumbled, wiping my eyes with my hands. "I'm behaving like I'm in high school. I'm sorry for this, it's just, I can't...I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing," Buffy whimpered.

I looked at her for the first time since my rant started and saw her sitting there, tears running from her hazel eyes, eyes that looked at me with...fear?

"Buffy?" I asked weakly, laying my hand on top of hers.

She took a deep breath, blinking the tears out of her eyes.

"Ok," she started, and I prepared for the worst. "Will, I can't say that I don't want you to say it back. I have since long before I first said it. And I'm sorry it caused you all this trouble. I didn't want that."

She let out a puff of air.

"But I don't regret saying it," she said. Swallowing, she averted her eyes, focusing on our hands. Her thumb caressed my palm and her lips curved up into a smile.

"I could go on like this forever. I love you, and even though it hurts like hell to see you with Kennedy, it's worth it because every second we're together feels like heaven," she said sombrely, looking up into my eyes.

I half expected her to go "And I know what heaven feels like, cause I've been there."

Thankfully, she didn't.

"But you have to choose," she said instead, which was just so much worse. "I can't let you go around hurting yourself like this, not because of me, not because of anyone. I need you happy, ok?"

I couldn't say anything. I just nodded while the tears continued to fall.

Damn tears.

I felt her hand on my cheek, gently pushing my face upwards.

"Hey, look at me."

I did so, even though my vision was pretty much completely blurred out.

"You're what matters," she said firmly, cupping my cheek. "Nothing else, just you. Happy you."

She leaned forward and hugged me close, her fingers lying still on the small of my back. I cried on her shoulder for a while, but soon we just sat there in a silent embrace.

As the sound of a car pulling in to the driveway reached our ears, Buffy tilted her head back and kissed me on the temple.

"You should go get dressed," she whispered and ran her fingers softly down my left cheek.

"I know," I whispered back and had to force myself to get up and not lean into her caress.

Not feeling a whole lot better, I closed Buffy's door behind me and walked naked through the hallway to the room I share with Kennedy.

Buffy was right: I had to choose. It couldn't go on like this. It wasn't fair on anybody. And even though it hurt like hell, when it came down to it, it was an easy choice.

Which is why I'm standing here in the second floor hallway, looking out the window at the fireworks lighting up the New Year's sky, my girl hugging me close from behind, her cheek resting on my shoulder.

"Mmm. Feel better?"

I lean my head against hers, my lips smiling but my forehead's furrowed.

"Not much," I reply.

She tightens her embrace.

"But you're happy?"

My smile widens and my eyes sparkle.

"I'm happy."

I guess, in the end, you can't ignore what your heart is telling you.

The End


End file.
